There’s a new Ipsos Reid poll which suggests that 10% of global citizens and 9% of Canadians think the world will end this Dec 21, when the Mayan calendar fizzles out. So 9% of us really believe this? Golly gee, are Canadians really that well-educated about obscure ancient calendars dug out of rock piles? Or did the pollsters only call the landlines in the Gulf Islands? (okay– apologies, Gulf Islanders, I’m only snarky because I envy your spiritual freedom).
Finding it very hard to get my head around that 9% figure. I don’t know anyone personally who would admit to such a belief. But if that poll is to be taken seriously (big if), I must know quite a few, and they just aren’t telling.
Who ARE the querulous and credulous 9%? How can we identify them, so that their friends can gently but firmly take away their credit cards until Dec. 22?
Here are a few telltale signs that you may be dealing with one of the 9%:
Your spouse casually suggests that you hold Christmas a week early this year.
Your friend mentions that they’ve packed their car for a big trip to the mountains…. but… they don’t ski…
The twinkling silver tree in your neighbour’s living room turns out to be a Mayan-style pyramid of canned goods.
Yes, I know I’ve begun to sound like a junior-league “prepper” myself over the past couple of months. But there’s a rational, science-based reasons for earthquake preparedness on the West Coast. And really, there’s just no preparing for a global apocalypse on the Mayan scale, if the earth is going to be torn asunder and covered in fire and water. If the SHTF the way the 9% believe it will, there will be no mopping up to do.
Maybe that’s why the 9% are hard to spot- they’re bravely going about their Christmas shopping and parties as usual this weekend. Pretending all is well, keeping a cheerful demeanour despite their crushing sense of impending doom! I salute your courage and fortitude, all ye stoic 9%.
But really, I think you should probably turn off your TV and listen to some happy music. Get some fresh air. Remember, the Mayans were an advanced culture for their time, and they did rock some funky outfits in their day, but maybe there is another reason their calendar ran out. How big a piece of rock would they have needed for their calendar to go on forever?